By EJKatz
“This sucks.” Blair Sandburg exclaimed, tossing yet another file on the
growing pile on the floor. “I’ll never
find it. Just doesn’t exist. I’d’ve found it before now.”
The muttering continued as he pulled the last file
from his in-basket. He read through it
but he frown worrying his face deepened and it joined the others on the
floor. With an angry curse, the young
grad student rose. He grabbed his
jacket and left the small office, desperate for some air to clear his frazzled
mind.
His first draft of his dissertation was due in less
that two weeks and he still had nothing but old cases to fall back on. He still hadn’t found that illusive answer
to his life’s research. He was positive
it was out there but more and more he was feeling like he wasn’t the one to
find it. The thought depressed him.
He walked on past the student quad and into the
Student Union building. Without really
thinking about it he found himself in the cafeteria, a cup of steaming hot
coffee in his hands and the dollar bill exchanging hands with Betsy, the sixty
year old cashier and matron of the cafeteria.
He had a few hours before his meeting with his
advisor and he still had nothing to show him.
Maybe he could talk to Hal. If
anything at least he would make Blair feel better.
~*~*~*~
"Blair I have tried again and again to tell you
that this wouldn't be as easy as you thought.
Finding a myth is never easy and especially not one as rare as yours. Even finding references to it has been
difficult. Perhaps you should try
finding something else to do your thesis on."
"But Hal, I can't drop it now. Maybe I need to do more field work. It is obvious I am not going to find it in
Cascade. Maybe when the semester is
over."
"Maybe Blair, but I have seen your records. You have been on more field assignments than
any other student in Anthropology to date and still your references have been
few and far between." Hal Buckner,
faculty advisor and friend to Blair Sandburg knew well the love Blair had for
his research subject but he was also more than aware that the lack of results
was drawing heavily on the young man's usual enthusiasm. He didn't want to discourage him from
pursuing his dreams but rather to step back from it for a while. "Just think on it. You can always take it up again once you
have your doctorate. I would hate to
see all these years go to waste because you couldn't find what you are
seeking."
"Well, maybe." There was a definite sense of depression building behind the
normally cheery voice. Hal sighed
deeply as Blair closed the door tightly behind him.
Even Blair's dissertation advisor had been trying to
get the young student to change his topic.
No one believed it even existed except in legends and myths but Blair
had been adamant for years, ever since he'd found that damn book of
Burton's. Hal made it a point to
encourage him whenever possible but even he knew that Blair was only setting
himself up for failure and failure was one thing Blair didn't take well when it
came to his school work.
'He's burnt out.
Maybe he should take a year and go on a field assignment. Let's see if I can find anything for
him.' With that Hal turned back to the
rather short pile of applications for research trips to see if possibly, just
possibly there might be something that would interest his favorite student.
~*~*~*~
Blair wandered back to his office. He was bummed, seriously depressed. Maybe Buckner and his advisor were right and
he should find something else. Maybe he
should just dump the whole thing together.
Maybe he was just deluding himself.
He felt the sadness welling as he dwelt upon his
supposed failure to produce the subject he needed to complete his
disseration. Hot tears, welled in his
eyes as he closed and locked the door to his office. His position of TA was tenuous if he couldn't complete his
diss. There was no way he'd ever be
able to teach as a full professor without those coveted letters behind his
name.
"This sucks." He screamed as he tossed everything on his desk to the already
cluttered floor. His mug crashed and
shattered against the metal garbage can. 'Like the piece of my life,' he
thought miserably.
Dropping to the floor he allowed himself to wallow in
the self pity as he gathered up the piece of pottery and placed them carefully
into the garbage. Tears fell unchecked
while the last four years of dreams were washed away.
So deep in his grief he was that he almost didn't
hear the phone ring. For a moment he almost
didn't answer it. "What the
hell! It can't get much worse."
Scrambling to his feet he found the phone, wiping his
tears away and gathering himself he answered.
"Blair Sandburg."
"Blair, it's Kelly. I think I may have found what your looking for."
It was like the sun had come out. A silver lining of hope as he listened to
his friend. He thanked her and hung up,
rushed to put his things together and raced out the door. Those lost hopes and dreams rebuilt
themselves, filling him once more with a sense of purpose and a willingness to
continue to seek the elusive answer to all his questions and the truth behind
his destiny.
The End?????